The Comparison Void

nonoCompare

“One of the hardest things to do in life is to simply be who you are. From the day we’re born, everyone from our friends, family and even current Internet celebrities tell us how to dress, how to act, how to think and how to live. With the dominant rise of technology and the accessibility the media gives us to other people’s lives + opinions, our society is in a constant state of influence, forcing us to always compare ourselves, usually finding fault instead of acceptance. It’s easy to feel alone, to doubt yourself and feel unjust for the struggles + hardships you have to endure; to get lost in the negative aspects of life, wallow in anger + self-pity and see life as a burden. The hard part is to find the light in the times of darkness, however dim it may be.” (This is a small excerpt from my review of Nothing More‘s self-titled album, which I highly, highly, HIGHLY recommend.)

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Comparison is to look at two different things to find the qualities that are similar as well as what makes them different, often resulting in one being better than the other.

A void is empty nothingness.

A comparison void is that space we get lost in when we focus on the lives of other people instead of the beauty of what’s right in front of us. When we sit looking at other people’s lives in pictures through social media, that whole FoMo thing (I really hate that word but I 100% believe in the Fear Of Missing Out anxiety), begins to happen which is where the comparison starts, resulting in sadness, jealousy and/or anger.

Instead of being happy to be alive right where we are, we wish we were somewhere else, living a different life; we think we would be happier elsewhere. After our woe-is-me-pity-party, we get angry at other people who are where we want to be as we scroll faster + faster through their photos; how DARE they have what we so obviously deserve! But what we seem to forget is that what people present to the outside word via the Internet is an edited (and often Mayfair or Valencia-filtered) version of their reality.

Sure, sometimes comparison can result in a swift kick in the ass as motivation but usually, all it does is form self-doubt, diminishes self-confidence and causes anxiety. Don’t ever compare yourself. Don’t waste your energy.

You should NEVER devalue yourself based on your opinion of someone else’s way of life. Think about how silly that sounds. Why are you going to waste your time + energy in such a negative way? Instead of trying to be like someone else, be the best version of yourself. Learn from others and be inspired yes, but ALWAYS  remember your own gifts + the rad qualities that make you who you are.

As human beings, what is inside of me is inside of you; we are all the same, just in different disguises. We all go through life together, but in different ways. We beat ourselves up when we should be our own biggest fan. If you’re anything like me, your mind is constantly saying things to and about you in your head. My mind spews thoughts that tell me I’m not doing enough with my life; this person is better or that person is prettier; nothing I do is good enough; I’m stupid or this person is smarter… you get the idea. Its a constant war zone against myself in my head…

…and how I handle it is up to me.

dontCompare

I can easily agree with all of the negative crap floating around in my head and contribute towards making myself feel worthless + insignificant. Or…

…I can simply smile, roll my eyes at the silly thought that’s trying to bring me down and shift my focus to a more positive thought. Which is what I try to always do. Sure, sometimes no matter what I do, I feel crummy and no amount of sunshine + rainbows can cure it but once I get over that un-happy hump, life starts to get a bit brighter again.

When you THINK positive, you LIVE positive and when you LIVE positive, you DRAW it to you. (And if you are constantly grumpy, complaining how no one understands you, the world is unfair and out to get you, etc…then that is all you will know.)

You are in control of your life and your life only. When you focus on the lives of others, you’re not living your own and are indeed, missing out. You’re missing the small in-between moments that are so often overlooked. You’re missing out on laughter + positive energy. You’re missing out on learning more about yourself.

Essentially, you’re missing out on life. Choose otherwise…

Do your own thing and feel EMPOWERED..
Go out and shine your light.

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We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or
              rejoice because thorn bushes have roses. ~  Abraham Lincoln

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